Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > pac369 > Pulling your own strings... |
|
Dominance..... See below...  ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~ |
||||
|
Have you thought about your dominance style lately? Or at all? What kind of dominant are you? There are numerous books written about all the styles of Dominants. Obviously though, there are some general questions that you should ask yourself.... Are you a cruel or kind Dominant? Are you a sadist? Does your partner need to be a masochist? How important is protocol to you? Do you punish your submissive? If so how? Do you have your life together? Where a submissive would feel safe with you? How do you handle conflict? Do you easily become angry? How do you express your anger? Do you prefer your D/s relationship to be public or private? Do you prefer subs or slaves as partners? Do you love your sub? Or just see them as your sexual, obedient, vessel? Will your sub/slave live with you in a 24/7 environment? Are your rules few? Or excessive? Formal or informal? And the list goes on and on depending on your needs and desires... As a sub I am evaluating myself frequently. Through journaling, blogs, and reading while I don't have a Dom.. As I hope Dom's find a way to improve themselves. Our relationships rely and insist on levels of openness that are quite unique and challenging in this day and age. I really enjoyed this excerpt from Alter Ego... Hopefully... it can help some see they might just be into rough sex and nothing more... " Any man can grab a woman by her hair, throw her on the bed and rip her clothing off. Sure he can tie her up, call her a 'bitch' or a 'slut' and have rough sex with her. But that is not dominance.... that's rough sex, maybe even violent sex. If she's into it, it can even be fun but that's still not true dominance... True dominance is the ability to whisper softly in her ear then observe as she obediently removes her clothing. Methodically.... one piece at a time. Watching as she kneels before you offering her entire self to you. Willingly, without hesitation or reservation. She will show you her most vulnerable self without embarrassment or shame. You will know that nothing makes her happier than making you happy..." Alter Ego... Isn't the first step in all discovery knowing ourselves? If so? I ask what kind of Dominant are you? ~ Physical strength is measured by what we carry. Inner strength is measured by what we can bear. ~
| |||
|
All that are listed and much more are things that should be discussed or thought through way before any relationship really begins. A soft whisper or a look can do wonders. Everyone is uniquely different, I am just me.
| |||
|
This just really hits home and as I go over the list I nod my head. That quiet voice gets more of a response from me.
| |||
|
pac This is another great post and Yes, the difference between "rough sex" and D/S is so huge and important ! A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
| |||
|
I'm new to this and just looking for my first Dom. This post spoke to me deeply. Thank you!
| |||
|
I've come back to your post 3 times now because it's made me think in a way I haven't thought in a while. I am Dom, Well over 30 years. Have been alone now since just before the pandemic began... Thought I would answer a few of your questions and pose a couple to you.... I prefer Gentle to cruel or kind. Not a sadist, but do understand that there is a worth while line to find between pain and pleasure. Does not want a masochist or a slave, and I don't do punishment unless we are play acting roles and it's defined before we start. Play acting roles can occur over multiple days I'm an older man who no longer angers very easily and I handle conflict with a sub depending on how fully clothed we are and what the conflict is about It's very hard to do the D/s role in real life because I'm a nurse in a female dominated profession. The vast majority of my social world is composed of medical people Dominance in public must be handled with "codes" and looks or the other nurses around us would eat us alive.... As a nurse, I'm used to people feeling safe around me, but with a cautious wondering about what kind of painful procedures I'm going to inflict upon them. This mentality serves me well, when the clothes come off I agree with alter ego a whole lot.... I can and do enjoy rough sex, but again, it must be set up first, it's a long time till trust is strong enough to allow for spontaneous rough sex... at least at my age... So questions for you.... Your primary focus here was physicality, with a small, but significant mention of the power of the whisper. I've learned that it's usually good to make em concentrate to hear me... My search is for the mental joys of D/s. By my age, the physical is all pretty much the same shit, different day.... I yearn most to fuck with the mind at least as much as the body. I find my physical release to be taken for granted... It's going to happen, just a matter of when. Since I don't do punishment, I believe in rewards, and again, in my experience, my subs have enjoyed the physical while being leery of the mental... (I'm nor cruel! I do like to leave em wondering what's next) You did not mention sub space, some people don't believe in it... I believe that my best nights have come when I found Dom mode, and hope for the same with my sub. Sorry to be so long winded, but you got me started. Good luck out west there, I will keep reading your blog...
| |||
|
A firm hand smacks-cheeks redden as a subs surrender begins..... a long journey to submission and obedience.... fearful and owned,,, does not say no ever........1200902..... a red cheek submitting under a Master hand forever.
| |||
4/28/2021 9:14 am |
1. I'm not a Dom 2. I like control but that's about it. 3. When she is happy, I'm happy
| |||
|
I am very much searching my true self and trying to find out what kind of Dom I am. Maybe just a kinkster with no huge dominant streak, lately it seems like that to me.... not much on the sadist side, but enjoy a masochist to a degree. Not into extremes there. With taboo play, I can be extreme, I'd say.... but I have lots to explore, and am willing to do so! When you come to a fork in the road, take it. __Yogi Berra
| |||
10/16/2021 11:08 pm |
hey i Love your Blog klk me on Militaryzondra i wanna know more about you Zondra
|
Thanks so much Jenny... Your words and approval always mean a lot to me!
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
×
×