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looking4fat 72T
472 posts
2/25/2023 9:43 am
The LTR Poll: Part 2 – What sort of Relationship?

Many members state specifically that they are looking for a “Long Term Relationship." (Personally, I am amazed at the number of members in their 70’s and 80’s who say that. I don’t really expect to be alive and/or able to “Relate” for all that much longer. And I certainly have no desire to morph into someone’s “caretaker.”) Others merely just imply the Long Term part. But what IS a Long Term Relationship? These polls are not aimed at getting a consensus but rather at an approximation of what members mean. (You REALLY should all put a specific answer somewhere in you r profiles.)
Part one looks at How Long a Long Term is. Part two will ask what sort of relationships we are all looking for.

How do You want to “Relate?”
This part is much more complicated and probably varies much more. I expect that we are all looking for some sort of “relationship.” But is it “Love” based, or “Lust” based, or does it even matter?
The options offered are pretty general. And some of us would want to combine two or more of them to make our “perfect Long Term relationship.” So please pick the one that most closely approximates Your choice and then elaborate in the comments.
Marriage
Living together “In Sin”
Owner / slave or pet
Home Owner / live-in or day maid (or other servant)
Sadist/Rigger and masochist/rope bunny (or some variant thereof
Living separately but “dating” regularly
Friends with benefits
Separate lives, but regular “get-togethers.”
Dom / sub
Degrader / degradee


My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


looking4fat 72T

2/25/2023 9:51 am

i voted for "separate lives." Bur friends with benefits would be a viable option. So, my choices are more "Lust Based" than "Love based."

And if you visit the rest of my Blog (just scroll down a bit) you can see what sort of lusts i lust for.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


rydermantel 68M
23773 posts
2/25/2023 10:11 am

    Quoting looking4fat:
    i voted for "separate lives." Bur friends with benefits would be a viable option. So, my choices are more "Lust Based" than "Love based."

    And if you visit the rest of my Blog (just scroll down a bit) you can see what sort of lusts i lust for.
Me too. It is the most logical approach if you are looking for a "Long Term" relationship.


Sophie105 63F
208 posts
2/25/2023 4:03 pm

I chose Living together in sin; I think a lot of people on here would like to just find someone who will stick it out with them through life's ups and downs. Only by living together can you truly share your lives. It's up to the individual in the end as to what they think they want or need. As far as being older and talking LTR, as far as we know we only get one shot at life. No one, regardless of age, knows when their party will be over. So just live your life, enjoy as much as you can, and don't sit around thinking how much time you think you may have left. It's pointless and miserable.


meltwill2 72M  
3733 posts
2/25/2023 6:22 pm

    Quoting rydermantel:
    Me too. It is the most logical approach if you are looking for a "Long Term" relationship.
Absolutely.....me too.... After being together for 6 years then married for 42 I have no desire to be in that situation with anyone. I wanted to check these two also Living separately but “dating” regularly, Friends with benefits.


looking4fat 72T

2/26/2023 3:29 am

Wow, Sophie. Thank you SO much for that well thought out and articulate response. i agree, we never know how long we will have, but when i see an 82 year old man saying he wants a LTR with a younger woman, i can't help but wonder if he isn't really looking for a future Home Health Aid.

ryder and melt, i almost did not include those two choices as separate. But i think of Friends with Benefits as doing more non-BDSM and or sexual stuff together. Whereas the living separate as just getting together for those sorts of "play times."

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


alwaysassertive 63M

2/28/2023 7:52 am

Sophie is 100 percent right. Age isn't important. What's important to is seize the moment and enjoy what you have right now. Tomorrow isn't promised. I'm getting rid of things that I've just collected over the years and don't use. After cleaning out someone's home that passed away it made me look around at the stuff I might be leaving for someone else to throw away.

I think I'll live in sin because I don't see anyone worth marriage. You take care of yourself.


looking4fat 72T

3/1/2023 4:15 am

    Quoting alwaysassertive:
    Sophie is 100 percent right. Age isn't important. What's important to is seize the moment and enjoy what you have right now. Tomorrow isn't promised. I'm getting rid of things that I've just collected over the years and don't use. After cleaning out someone's home that passed away it made me look around at the stuff I might be leaving for someone else to throw away.

    I think I'll live in sin because I don't see anyone worth marriage. You take care of yourself.
You may be a little young to start cleaning out. i really started that process last year.

The "living in sin" thing doesn't appeal to me because most States have laws that make it the virtual equivalent of marriage. If you break up, you can't just toss your partner out and all property becomes "joint" after a month or so. As soon as you split, the Lawyers descend like locusts.

And i DO "take care of myself." No one else wants to, and i have no desire to take care of anyone but myself. i just want a nice (or not-so-nice) Man to visit me periodically and deposit His sperm in me.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


alwaysassertive 63M

3/2/2023 7:24 am

Okay I've reconsidered..instead of living in sin. she's going to be required to have her own place. There's common law marriage in this state too. In Arkansas and I think it's Alabama too. You can't even get a divorce because you can't divorce your sister.

I do have an empty place in my heart. I lost the love of my life, my Angus Young addition Gibson SG thinking I had some financial difficulties. Little did I know I could have kept it without a problem. I cant find another one because people are collecting them and the used price is over double what I paid. I guess I'll be rock 'n with a Flying V for awhile. Take care.


looking4fat 72T

3/2/2023 8:03 am

    Quoting alwaysassertive:
    Okay I've reconsidered..instead of living in sin. she's going to be required to have her own place. There's common law marriage in this state too. In Arkansas and I think it's Alabama too. You can't even get a divorce because you can't divorce your sister.

    I do have an empty place in my heart. I lost the love of my life, my Angus Young addition Gibson SG thinking I had some financial difficulties. Little did I know I could have kept it without a problem. I cant find another one because people are collecting them and the used price is over double what I paid. I guess I'll be rock 'n with a Flying V for awhile. Take care.
Oh my! i am SO sorry to hear about your guitar! i wonder if we all do not have some such regretful losses in our lives. i had a complete "Silver Age" run of Flash, Batman, and Justice League. But we needed a new roof. So, poof! For a fraction of their current selling prices.

Arkansas... isn't that where they invented the toothbrush? If it was in one of the Carolinas, it would have been named the TEETHbrush.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


Mscrystalvase 55F

3/2/2023 9:43 pm

I love someone So much it hurts but I can't see marriage, I want her to be free to make choices. As for me I would love a LTR with her but more along the lines of friends with benefits that why she is not tired down.


looking4fat 72T

3/3/2023 4:06 am

    Quoting Mscrystalvase:
    I love someone So much it hurts but I can't see marriage, I want her to be free to make choices. As for me I would love a LTR with her but more along the lines of friends with benefits that why she is not tired down.
Yes, Mistress. i quite agree. The freedom "to make choices" is a freedom that binds together strong relationships.

And a Frends with Benefits, where the friendship is not based solely on sex (or "Alt" activities) would be wonderful. i'd love to find a Man to be friends with in public but who would use me in private.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


OldJeakel 72M
377 posts
3/4/2023 1:34 pm

I voted for "Master/slave"
I'm like you, I doubt I'd be around for a "long term relationship" lol


looking4fat 72T

3/5/2023 3:21 am

    Quoting OldJeakel:
    I voted for "Master/slave"
    I'm like you, I doubt I'd be around for a "long term relationship" lol
Yes. We "old folks" do have our limitations. But if You lived near here, we could grow older together, but separately.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


looking4fat 72T

3/5/2023 3:33 am

    Quoting  :

"Master" thank you for reaching out to me. i am not sure what you are asking. If you want to "chat" on the IM - that is not going to happen. i NEVER use the IM on here because it rarely works and it eats points like a fat kid at and ice cream parlor.

If you go to the Blog entries "Feed the Kitty" and/or "Smoke and Mirrors" and if you are clever enough, you can find alternate contact info. (Three other Men have already, so it can't be all THAT difficult.)

i will say that i like Your looks and Your attitude, but (if you read more of my Blogs) you will notice that i am NOT a "slave" and i have no interest in a 24/7 relationship. And, though i would welcome occasional visits from a Real Man like You, i am afraid that we live too far apart to make that practical.

i'd be glad if You prove me wrong on that.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


manni_pr 51T
2589 posts
3/5/2023 4:50 am

Yes, one individual proposing LTR may be looking specifically at one of the given alternatives; all bonafide. However, I think that there may be others who are looking at an opportunity to at least at maybe more than one of them, whatever may fit better depending of who's willing to considerate. To say just one of these alternatives would probably limit someone who is looking to a meaningful relationship. I think that people who who think of long term, they actually mean to be taken seriously for a meaningful relationship and not just a one-night-stand, or just a weekend or a few dates or even friends with benefits status (I could see how this last one could be actually considered as an option for some people and not to others; this one could be very divisive depending on the individual). But whether it's marriage or living-in-sin, to mention just a couple of an examples, examining these options would be the next phase once that person who would be willing to considerate a long term accepts to even meet you. And for any given couple, there may be very different approaches or perspectives. Like you very well said, as an example, some folks may have less time in this life than others, so a specific amount time may not be something that could be determined in a general survey. I think people who say they are up for LTR, what they mean is they are looking for someone for a more meaningful relationship than just a meet-and-fuck date (which is what a lot of folks actually look in this site), and they are just offering an opportunity for consideration, but they may be open to alternatives. How will that look in the end, will probably be an answer of two people rather than just the one who initially proposed the LTR in the beginning.
But hey, this is just an opinion.


looking4fat 72T

3/5/2023 5:58 am

Thanks for sharing, manni. i figure "relationship," like so many other words, probably means something different to just about everybody. But in part one, everyone seems unable to come up with a specific time period. i thought i'd get some sort of consensus there. --- Wrong Again!

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


looking4fat 72T

3/8/2023 7:56 am

The results so far are interesting. There is an almost even split between some variation of the living together and the living separate options. i may have found a new way to differentiate between optimists and pessimists.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


looking4fat 72T

3/24/2023 3:59 am

50 votes and holding. But still no consensus.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


looking4fat 72T

4/4/2023 4:26 am

The votes still trickle in. It seems that Co-habitat and live separately are still even.

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.


aliensxfnd 64M
47 posts
5/6/2023 11:29 pm

Living apart and dating regular is best option for me. It takes a while for me to get comfortable & relaxed with a new partner. Definitely Lust Based for me , if we "CLICK" sexually then I may be open to possibly more later.


looking4fat 72T

5/7/2023 3:02 am

    Quoting aliensxfnd:
    Living apart and dating regular is best option for me. It takes a while for me to get comfortable & relaxed with a new partner. Definitely Lust Based for me , if we "CLICK" sexually then I may be open to possibly more later.
i agree. Even when i get comfortable with serving all a Man's needs, i never really feel easy having one sleep over. Even if we are in separate beds in different rooms.

Go Figure, huh?

My "gurl name" is Kate Coxuker. It is who i am and what i do.



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