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SM, The journey, Into your own deeper feelings, longings, and maybe shame too? Accepting, yourselve as you are, More below, |
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To me, it is a journey- To me, it is a journey, into mysellf at first Who i am, Or who i thought i was, pretending, for whom? What my values are. It could be, or is my journey, into inner growth. Discovering, all kind of things, i did hide very deep inside me. It was and still is a growing curver, always reading, wanting to know more, and more. And finding, i just dont know nothing... Only about myself, as a submissive, slave like woman, with very strong masochistic wants/ needs. It is a big, ever growing curve. it has NOTHING to do with sex, at all, for me. And, all with a mental development, grow, learing, more and more about myself. I am rich, in that way. Because, i believe that when and if, i will meet THAT MAN, sex will just be a part of the whole of the dynamic. I understand, that for a lot of folks, it is JUST kinky sex in the bedroom, within a vanilla relation. Yeah, that is a possibility too..... Not for me, i tried that, it was not succesful, let me say that. i was always waiting for that socalled dominance, to appear... What i found, that, for mé, it was like a working agreement, if hé puts on his leather pants, he, áll of the sudden "became" dominant I could not grasp my mind around that. HOw? Is that working? To me, dominant is something YOU ARE. It is not something you can put on, and then all of the sudden, this former vanilla man, has become all of the sudden "dominant">?? It shocked me, to notice how easily i could get them out of their role, How they could switch from Playing the dominant role, back to vanilla, in a split second. I never felt their power/ their strenght, their being balanced. That made those kind of "dominants" very, very unstable, thus unsafe, like hell! I could not trust them. So, SM, without a deep emotional connection, is totally impossible. To me, it is NOT about all the physical actions, they come later, much later, on the agenda. For me it is first and formost about the emotional connection. About him, knowing me, inside and out, and visa versa Him knowing all there is to know about me. So, he is able to read me, on all levels. To really, really knów mé. the hidden mé. It is relatively easy, to "submit" to such a roleplay sex "dominant".... I would never be satisfied that way. To me, that is soo empty, such a lonely act....... THAT would be a role, i play.. just to satisfy him. Did that a few time, never again! It amazed me, that those men, never understood, that they never, ever even touched mé, the inner mé. They were just handling my body, do things with and to my body. "I" was never involved, never.... They also never understood that part.... Always looked at me, as if i was talking Russian..... It is not about "the play" in the bedroom, it is about the surrender, to him totally and fully, with all i have to give. Within his & my bounderies, ofcourse. It is such a intens learning curve, there are soo many layers, to pull free... To grow deeper into my submissive, my masochism, my servitude...
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my excuses for all the typos....
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rosa I agree - the Life- Style is a journey and it is best when there is an emotional connection! A lovely post A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw Jenny
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There are many colors in BDSM. For me it definitely goes much deeper than just sex. It's an exploration of deeper levels down in my soul, areas that I sometimes shy away to see and admit that they exist. Its's a journey that is sometimes rocky, sometimes very enjoyable, but never easy. A wise person thought me that it is a sign of our soul, trying to catch our attention to look inwards and see things that need our effort to be looked at, felt and experienced, let the light enlighten it and sometimes also healed. I'm still not sure about all of that, but it certainly resonates with me.
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Rosa I speculate how can anyone call themselves a "switch" I never get that... 🤔
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Sure, there is sex in the relationship but knowing each other is the key. When I talk with Mistress, I can feel her moods as she can feel mine. I know when she is showing dominance and when she is just being a friend. All of that makes the relationship work as it does.
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Our first challenge is always to know and understand ourself. That in itself is a journey. I suspect that many find that overwhelming and perhaps frightening. The self-understanding that you have is impressive and it is obvious that you've spent a lot of time exploring corners of you mind. I continue to be impressed by your awareness. [image] May you find that for which you search and get what you deserve. Mojo
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I have enjoyed each and every word you wrote, Rosa... so many truths in there ...
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Thank you, jenny
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subaline, it sure is, To confront all those layers, you need to have balls, and dare to go deep.... Look at who you really are, deep down inside, and recognize that, as your treu colour, (although i dont like the "treu" school followers")
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brandy, I cant get my head around that, either, i think it might be just for the kinky fun? changing "roles"..... for the sexual release?
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drmgirl, AMEN, to that! You said it!
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Ooh, thank you, Mojo. After my first encounter with such a sex play dom, i did some very deep soul searching,I was in shock about the depth of my longing, wanting, I still remember were i was, in the room, and how i felt about experiencing this feeling, of being a slave, NOT a (play sex act) submissive. witch made me wonder and cry a lot, about who i was, and what i needed to feel fulfilled. And, how much i lost, all those years.... And, how lonely my journey probably would become... Thát, had nothing to do, with what that person was "doing" with my body.
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ExName, OOh, really? Thank you, so much!
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