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It's All Relevant

This Blog Is About This & That..

Posted:Jul 17, 2024 1:16 am
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2024 3:12 pm

Do you remember that conversation you had? The one where she cried and you felt frustrated? When you felt confused because you thought the relationship and everything was just fine? The one you couldn’t wait to be over because you hate to hear her sad? The one where she had this terrified look in her eyes yet still said words that she knew might be difficult for you to hear? The one where you’re tempted to explain away recent behaviors rather than hearing that it goes deeper, that it is likely something that has happened more than once and has taken a long time to build up the courage to discuss, and its content is much more important than you might think? Where you discussed the demons you thought you’d helped her get rid of ages ago? The one you’re glad is finished so things can return to “normal”?

That one.

I want you to understand - Those are her trying to let you in! It’s an act of bravery because she is saying I need this and I’m willing to risk you walking away because it is that important to me. That is her telling you that she cares more about you and your relationship than she is afraid of her fears.

Do you get it? She is handing you a brick. It might seem like not much at the time, but a part of her shell has protected her little heart for a long time. Please trust me when I tell you that it isn’t something to be taken lightly. She is standing there more revealed at that moment than you can imagine and holding out a piece of herself to you.

I know it’s tempting to discard it from there simply, but I hope you won’t. Because she’s waiting to see what you do with it; if you understand what she’s given you. Because I promise you, if you discard that brick she will find it. She may or may not say anything as she sadly cements it back into place with twice as much mortar.

Those difficult discussions are the moments that build intimacy and trust. They are the tearing down of her walls AND the building of the foundation upon which your relationship will stand.

The choice is always yours what to do with it, whether you want it between you or strengthening that which you stand upon.


~Sunday Sway
Posted:Jul 14, 2024 12:08 am
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2024 8:57 am
* Siren ~ Tori Amos ~ Great Expectations
* Girl ~Beck ~ Guero
* Big Eyed Fish ~ Dave Matthews Band~ Crash
* Monkey Man ~ Rolling Stones ~ Let It Bleed
* Time Pink Floyd ~ Dark Side Of The Moon
* The Lemon Song ~ Led Zeppelin ~ Led Zeppelin II
* Damn Good ~ David Lee Roth~ Skyscraper
* Wild World ~ Cat Stevens
* Instant Karma ~ John Lennon ~Power To The People
* Tweeter And The Monkey Man ~Traveling Wilburys ~Traveling Wiburys Vol.I

Tweeter And The Monkey Man ~ Bob Dyan

Tweeter and the Monkey Man
were hard up for cash
They stayed up all night
Selling cocaine and hash

To an undercover cop
who had a sister named Jan
For reasons unexplained
She loved the Monkey Man

Tweeter was a Boy Scout
'Course he went to Vietnam
Found out the hard way
Nobody gives a damn

Thought that they'd find freedom
Just across the Jersey line
Hopped into a stolen car
Took Highway 99

And the walls came down
All the way to hell
Never saw them when they standin'
Never saw them when they fell

The undercover cop
He never liked the Monkey Man
Even back in high school
Wanted to see him in the can

Jan got married at fourteen
To a racketeer named Bill
Made secret plans with the Monkey Man
From a mansion on the hill

It was out on Thunder Road
Tweeter at the wheel
Pulled into paradise
You could hear the tires squeal

It was Jan who'd told him many times
"It was you to me who'd taught
In Kingston everything's legal
As long as you don't get caught"

And the walls came down
All the way to hell
Never saw them when they standin'
Never saw them when they fell

Some place by Rahway prison
They ran out of gas
The undercover cop cornered 'em
Said, "You didn't think that this could last"

Jan jumped up out of bed
Said, "There's some place I gotta go"
She took the gun out of the drawer
And said, "It's best that you don't know"

An ambulance rolled up
State Trooper close behind
Tweeter took his gun away
And messed up his mind

The undercover cop was found
Face down in a field
The Monkey Man was on the bridge
Using Tweeter as a shield

And the walls came down
All the way to hell
Never saw them when they standin'
Never saw them when they fell

The town of Jersey City
Is quieting down again
I'm sitting in a gambling club
Called The Lion's Den

The TV set is blown up
Every bit of it is gone
Ever since the night
When they showed
That the Monkey Man was on

Maybe I'll go to Florida
Set myself some sun
There ain't no more opportunity here
And everything's been done

Sometimes I think of Tweeter
Sometimes I think of Jan
Sometimes I don't think about nothin'
But the Monkey Man

And the walls came down
All the way to hell
Never saw them when they standin'
Never saw them when they fell
Posted:Jul 6, 2024 9:15 pm
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2024 12:17 am

We The Kinky
Posted:Jul 3, 2024 12:53 am
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2024 9:29 am

We the Kinky, of the BDSM Culture, to form a more Unified society, establish a Safe Sane, and Consensual, ensure Tolerance, provide awareness against Predators, promote general Well-being, and secure the blessings of Knowledge to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Guideline for the Sexually Liberated.
Guidelines of Liberation:

1. Protect yourself - You are the first and last defense for your well-being, take the time and effort to know who you are playing with. Vetting someone is not telling them you don’t trust them; it’s telling them that you care about yourself. If they have a problem with this, they may not have your best interests at heart. Additionally, Safe words are a valuable method of communication. Assign no stigma to them, (you are not ruining a scene, or disappointing your partner, by using them) as they can prevent problems; physical, mental, and emotional
2. Inform Yourself - There are many resources for beginners and advanced alike, FIND THEM! Knowledge and furthering your education about kinks will allow you to get more out of your time and allow you to explore new things. It will also help you communicate your needs with a partner (or potential)
3. Know Yourself - While the fantasy that your partner knows you better than you do is great. It is rarely the case early on. Know what drives you, and why you choose this lifestyle. What you wish to gain or give. Know what is important to you, and what you need from it.

4. Choose your own Identity - never let someone else tell you who or what you are. Labels can be a trap or even be misleading If you feel you are “something” then don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. For some even having an “Identity” is limiting, so remember that “Choosing not to decide, is still a choice” (and an option)

5. Choose your Limits - Your limits are exactly that, YOURS. You decide what you Will Not do, or Must Have, in your relationships. No one else can make that determination for you. You certainly CAN choose to have no limits with a trusted partner, but that is YOUR choice, not theirs.

6. Choose your own Kink - Enjoy what you enjoy… It’s OK… You are free to be you. Don’t hesitate to experiment, Read, and LEARN. But above all, be kind and true to yourself.

7. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate - Mind reading is not possible. Knowing a person so deeply that you can read or predict them is. But that usually takes years of… you guessed it… Communication. You have to learn how to communicate; your needs, your desires, your fears… even if it’s a crayon drawing, make the effort to make yourself understood. This will only benefit your relationships.

8. Protect your Partner(s) - Sometimes, someone has placed trust in you. Those times are when they are most vulnerable. This is true for both sides of the slash. Sometimes you can push yourself beyond your limits “for the sake of your partner” and they may be doing the same. This scenario can end badly. Simple “yellow” safe words (by either side) can mean the difference between a good scene and a bad one. Additionally, knowing their medical or special needs is critical.

9. Protect your Friends - Be there for them, to talk to, to confide in, and on the watch, for red flags, they may miss. Pay attention to who is approaching them at public gatherings, and require communication from them before they leave with people they did not arrive with. Be their safe call. We all have the potential to miss important tells when the NRE (New Relationship Energy) kicks in. Since you are on the outside, your feedback and watchfulness may make the difference one day… Likewise, be ready to accept this same input from another trusted friend.

10. Protect your Community - Be aware of, and follow, the rules and policies of any venue, Public or Private. Do not Create or Bring Drama to public venues, sometimes it’s unavoidable, so work closely with the venue’s administration to minimize this. Creating problems, or failing to follow established rules and guidelines can get venues closed or create undesired law enforcement interdiction. Don’t be that person.

11. Accept the Variety - Remember that your kink is not everyone else’s just as theirs may not be yours. Be kind and remember that we all have different tastes with the same Safe, Sane, and Consensual mantra. If we cannot be accepting of each other in this community, we certainly should not expect those outside our realm to accept us.

12. Cause no Harm - Never knowingly out someone, spread rumors about others, or do anything to undermine another relationship (except #8 above). It’s simply bad form. Again, don’t be that person.


Posted:Jul 2, 2024 3:30 am
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2024 9:53 am
O is for Obedience:

Obedience is the act of following the leadership of a dominant partner in a D/S relationship. It involves a submissive willingly relinquishing control and adhering to the guidelines set by the dominant. This dynamic is based on mutual trust, consent, and respect, ensuring that parties derive satisfaction and fulfillment from the exchange. Obedience can enhance the intimacy and connection between partners, as it requires clear communication, an understanding of boundaries, and a deep level of commitment to the roles each person has chosen to assume.

Sunrise, Sunrise
Posted:Jun 30, 2024 12:38 am
Last Updated:Jul 2, 2024 7:34 pm

“Don’t waste sunrises on people who will escape by dusk.”
Posted:Jun 29, 2024 11:31 pm
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2024 5:47 am

N is for Negotiation

Negotiation is the process of discussing limits, desires, and consent before engaging in BDSM activities. It is a crucial step that ensures all parties involved have a clear understanding of each other's boundaries and expectations. During negotiation, individuals openly communicate their interests, limits, and any specific conditions they may have. This dialogue helps to establish trust and mutual respect, laying the foundation for a safe and consensual experience. By addressing these aspects beforehand, participants can create a more fulfilling and enjoyable interaction, minimizing the risk of misunderstandings or unwanted surprises.
Posted:Jun 26, 2024 12:21 am
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2024 1:21 am

M is for Masochism:

Masochism is the pleasure derived from receiving pain or humiliation. It encompasses a complex interplay of psychological and physical sensations, where the recipient finds gratification in surrendering to consensual discomfort or degradation. Masochistic individuals may seek out experiences that push their limits, finding liberation and arousal in the intensity of sensation and surrender.
Posted:Jun 25, 2024 5:59 am
Last Updated:Jul 17, 2024 2:54 pm
K is for Kink:
Kink, short for kinky, represents a broad spectrum of sexual preferences and practices. It encompasses a wide range of activities that may involve power dynamics, sensation play, role-playing, or fetishes. Kink is deeply personal and varies greatly from person to person, requiring open communication, negotiation, and consent between partners. It celebrates the diversity of human sexuality and can be a source of pleasure, intimacy, and self-discovery for those who engage in it.

Posted:Jun 22, 2024 11:50 pm
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2024 12:37 am
D is for Dominance:

Dominance in a BDSM relationship involves one partner assuming control and authority over the other, creating a dynamic built on trust, communication, and consent. The dominant leads the interaction, setting rules, giving commands, and guiding the submissive through various activities and scenes. This power exchange can manifest in numerous ways, from gentle guidance and protection to more intense forms of control and discipline. Essential to a healthy D/S relationship is the emphasis on consent, respect, and understanding the boundaries and desires of the submissive, ensuring a safe and fulfilling experience for the partners. Dominance is not about exerting power but about fostering a deep emotional and psychological connection, where the dominant provides structure, support, and care within the negotiated limits of the relationship.


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