Work and such....
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Postad:16 mars 2024 7:01 am
Senast Uppdaterad:17 mars 2024 1:06 pm 3718 besök
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So, the work on bikes, is still going on,
They dont help me anymore and when i ask for help, they are reluctant to offer .....
Not nice.
Also, because i was at my sisters place, for 3 weeks, all of the sudden, they (?) removed the carpet i put my bike on, just throw it out!
so not to damage the steering, and gear...
My red mug is gone, too.
It was not anything expensive, it was just MINE.
Gone!
Nowbody knows where it is gone??
One other thing, all of the certain, because, for most folks working there, it is a day time activity, to get them back to some sort of daily routine, because of their multi problems, mental cases, drugs related, medicine related... addiction...
And so on,
i now have to pay, to do the volenteers work..
Huh?
There is a lot of money going on, the that kind of "care" for mental cases, homeless folks.
A LOT of money..
They made some calculation in wich it seems as if i gain from this regulation
But, they count a full weeks work, and i dont work a full week..
So, by doing this votenteers work, i am going to pay them, too?!
How about some real crazy rules....
Because i am an exception to the rule, they cant bend the rule for me,
and i have to pay....., anyway!
although i dont need that extra care.. guidance..
And dont get any guidance, or help, at the workplace....
They try to pressure me in getting along with this rule, That is not a smart thing to do, because i dont like to be pressured into something that just does not feel right.
The more they pressure me, the more they give me a reason to doubt their real, sincere motivations....
They awaked the mule in me, that way! 
Hows that? for some real crazy situation going on?
I did not decide yet, what to do...?
Today, i was at the market, there is this woman from Ghana, having a very small markket stand, selling dresses, bags, juwelery...
I always go visit her, talk with her, sometimes i buy some dress, or other items.
People here are very, very racist.
We talked and she said she wanted to use a sewing machine, for making some adjustments to some of her bags for sale.
But she did not have a sewing machine....
So, i told her, i have a sewing machine, we can work something out?
If you want, too?
She was very happy with my offer and next week we are going to make a appointment, so she can come to my house and we will see from there?!
She is a very kind woman.
I am also asking real bike shops if they have a working place for me..
Most are just small bike shops, don t have much place for an apprenticeship..
I will see, i keep asking other bike shops.
Although i do know the main maintanance on bikes, the routine is what makes the difference...
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10
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Music and books,
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Postad:8 mars 2024 5:30 am
Senast Uppdaterad:11 mars 2024 5:03 am 6302 besök
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We had this Dutch Band,
The Golden Earring(s),
first they used the plural.. but later on, they called themself;
Golden Earring.
i really do love their music, lyrics, the drummer, especially.
Now, one of their guitar players is sick, with this muscle sickness,
A.L.S
So, since they are together for like 40 years or something...
I dont know for how long, they did not want to find a new guitar man,
because they are like a 50 year old happily married couple...
They had one hit in the US, RADAR LOVE,
But they made soo much more great music...
We had an other great guy, although he did like to put that white power in his nose a bit too much....
Herman Brood, he sang also English songs, i really do like his voice,
must be like that, because of the drugs...
He jumped from a famous Hotel in Amsterdam, some years ago...
Check them out, if you like, maybe you like that music, too?
Books,
While at my sisters place, i found a great book in her bookshell...
Tina Turner,
Happiness becomes you,
I found it a very interesting book, want one, for myself.
But they only sell them as hardcover.
I dont want a hardcover....
I like paperbacks.
She learned about Buddism, and CHANTING.
well, actually, the other way around, first the CHANTING,
while she was in the middlle of that very violant marriage with Ike..
and later her way into buddims..
It is a great way, to become one, in oneselfs....
That is the only way, i can describe it.
An other book, i found at my work place.
They throw a lot of books out, when they dont sell.
This book,
IKIGAI.
by Fransesc Miralles | Héctor García
Is about almost the same item as Tina Turners book.
To me those two books are in each others line of thinking..
It is also about finding, building a long and happy life....
By keeping active, have hobbies, be part of your own little social group, do daily exercise.
expand if you can, never retire, help other people.
Eat moderate, not after 18 hours, eat fish, tofu, and so on and on...
Still reading it, It has many layers, i love that! about books.
All kind of books.
And in people, too 
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13
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I was right,
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Postad:8 mars 2024 4:44 am
Senast Uppdaterad:16 mars 2024 6:37 am 5933 besök
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And now i feel a bit guilty,
Because there is, indeed, a weather change going on.
It is terrible cold, although the sun is shining, ( does not do one thing, for you) in those freezing cold winds.....
So i put that spider out, in the cold!
Last night, there was a spider, again, such a big one, in my stair case,
she did not introduce herself to me, maybe it is the same spider,
maybe it is her sister, niece, nephew, boyfriend, who knows!!
This morning, she was in the bathroom, at the bottom of a bucket,
thát is not a good place for a spider, running around in circles.
So, i let her out and she run and is hiding somewhere in my bathroom now...
Lesson learned; i will never put a spider out of my house, again, in winter times!
Poor dear!!! LOL
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14
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Women!!
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Postad:8 mars 2024 4:33 am
Senast Uppdaterad:8 mars 2024 11:59 pm 5652 besök
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Congratulation on WOMENS DAY!!
Although there is actually not much to celebrate about...
Wemens still dont get the same pay for the same job
A womens job is still seen, mostly as something she does to pass her time....
( waiting for that misserable prince???)  amp; to arrive and "rescue" her?
childcare is stilll mostly a item for women to concern about.
Breastfeeding is still something that is frown about,
in public places...
There are still girls who cant go to school, when they have their period.
Here in Europe and in Africa too, among other places.....
The cliterodectomy is still going on, even here in Europe.
More and more girls are getting their clit cut out,
wiith all the nasty health problems, that comes from it...
Like childborn and menstruations, not going to go, as it surpose to go.....
Ending with the death of that woman, as a result of that abuse,
that fear for the female sexuality.
And, NO, it is NOT writtin in the coran, that wemens need to be put into sooo much missery, only for the fear of men, for the female sexuality.
The whole health care system is ONLY build on how a MALE body functions.
There is NO MEDICINE FOR WOMEN, we all get the medicine that is made on how male bodys work, wich are in most cases, much too strong for a womans body.
Also, they dont consider out hormonal system as something to consider, while giving out medicines...
Shall i go on??
CONGRATULATIONS, anyway!!
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12
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My room,
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Postad:5 mars 2024 6:06 am
Senast Uppdaterad:7 mars 2024 1:06 pm 5972 besök
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It must be because spring is on her way,
Because i changed my whole living room
and now i cant find anything back again!
To do this , is sooo good for your brains!!
Everyone should do this once, a year or soo..
Because now your brians need to find new ways to find things
so, it keeps your brain healty... flexible
It is still abit of a mess, here and there.. i will take care of the details later....
It looks much more spacious....
And, and, now i can watch the birdies in my bush in the front garden,
without disturbing them!!
I am ever soo happy, with that!!
I changed everything around, the sofa has a totall other place,
my work table too and now i have to rearrange the rest of the room around it.
I have three chairs who are actually a bit too much.....
maybe i throw one out, or put it upstairs..? dunno yet..
For today i am finished.
I will see what will happen, tomorrow.
This month my daughter and partner are coming to visit me,
They are hermits, dont like to go out, at all
Dont like people, in general.....
That is just how they are......
So, it is extra special that they undertake such an adventure to travel to my place!!
And, my sister is planning to come too..
This month, it is my birthday, i dont mind if they come 2 weeks later or 1 week earlier,
it is the act, that counts, to me
Not the exact date, at all!
Although it was a grey, dull, cold day, spring is defenitily in the air!!! 
enjoy!
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11
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The real serious talk,
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Postad:4 mars 2024 10:54 am
Senast Uppdaterad:5 mars 2024 5:45 am 5894 besök
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Between my sister and me, about this whole new situation, for her.
was always done in a in between kind of style..
We never sat down and did the real difficult talk about mourning and all the side effects on her...
We did some, hanging the fresh new wash on the wasline, and talked about difficult stuff.
allways very short and very to the point, in short bursts of intimacy...
We laughed a lot, sometimes we even had belly ache from laughing.
We are in sooo many ways, so alike! it scares me, and her too.
We laughed a lot about our similarities....
And 'blamed' each other of this, too, in a kind way...
Her daughter really found this all very funny....
She was glad i was with my sister and helped her, in other ways wich she was not able to do.
Her daughter helped her in other areas.
and that is alright, too.
We were on the bikes, and talked, or we were doing some washing up and talked,
all very casually.
I think, that made it easier for my sister to say certain things.....
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after care?
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Postad:4 mars 2024 6:22 am
Senast Uppdaterad:5 mars 2024 5:50 am 5572 besök
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A while ago, this was really a hot thing, on FET...
Somehow, someone believed that ALL submissives needed a blanket, as a sign of after care
I dont know, from wich porn movie they got this "knowledge"....?!
All of the sudden, all the men, i talked to, about bdsm and the how, what and where,
all always somehow, some time started talking about the blanket as a sigh of good aftercare.
I found that such a strange thing to do.
One size fits all? aftercare??
I dont want a blanket, i want HIS attention, his care... him talking to me,
talking with each other.... gently.... caring, touching me ,softly....
A blanket is not an substitude for being involved with your submissive.
I believe that "aftercare"(negotiation) is also something that is used more in play only contacts.
Because, if you knów your submissive, if you both talked about this all
you knów her/ him.
You ask her/him...
You talk alot with each other, always...
If a scene has been rather rough and deep, the "aftercare" might be different, then when a scene was just a bit average.
When you know, what is going on, in her mind, you also know how she feels that day.
And, you talk, always,
The first law, for a submissiveslave, is not keeping things from her d or Master.
ever!
allways full exposure.
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Negotiation?
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Postad:4 mars 2024 5:59 am
Senast Uppdaterad:9 mars 2024 12:27 am 5540 besök
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Or just talk with each other, find out, what makes this person tick...
What is important in her/his life.
her/his dislikes, childhood events, overall preferences..
And find out, whó this person is, inside, deep down..
To be able to make a whole mental inmage picture of the other person,
whó she/ he really is....
Negotiation is like vetting, something you DO to explore the area where you and that other person have somethings in common, on the BDSM play list...activities.
TO find out, if you and the other, are going to have a great scene, role play, bondage scene or what ever you fancy.
find out what the soft limits, hard limits are, and know the differences between the two.
If you need aftercare, of if you take care of that, yourself.
things like safety, drinks, something to eat, after the scene..
If you want sex, or not.
If it is necessary to keep in contact, days after the scene you both did,
to see if the s type is still doing oke.
Not letting the s type drive after a heavy scene, because when in subspace,
the brains works differently...
You are not in controle.
Some compare subspace with a runners high, or with smoking those green leaves, with that funny smell....?
I dont like the meaning of negotiation, to me, it is not some business deal.
I need that commitment, that involvement with me, and my life,
it is not, at first a sexual act, to me,
although there are some very deep intens feelings 'in play'
First, there must be a mental connection.
I must have to like you, like the way you think, act, be, in day to day living...
be able to talk about anything, with you and most important be able to laugh with and about you, too.
My experience with those bedroom players, is
that their level of being interested in me, is really, really very shallow
It is only used to get to my pussy...
The short track, that is.
They are not really at all interested in who you are.
Only as long as that brings them to the pussy part of me.
My preferences about sexual acts.....
Also, one other thing, about those bedroom players, it seems like they never remember anything you ever told them...
How is that, for being reliable?
How does that effect the safety of a scene?
If he cant remember your favorite food, or pet, or if you are allergic to something or other, how is he going to remember your hard limits, or trigger points....?
With or without negotiation.
If you both, just start an conversation like you would do, with a new colleague,
and find things out, about the other person, you build something up,
like friendship and really getting to like each other.
BUT, those bedroomplayers are not at all interested in that.
They just want to play a scene...
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2
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Afraid,
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Postad:3 mars 2024 11:45 am
Senast Uppdaterad:4 mars 2024 6:41 am 5326 besök
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After staying with my sister for some time now,
and meeting and seeing more and more of her daugther and husband.
I am very much afraid of their health.
They all have rather strange health problems, of wich they dont understand the origine.
All did take the needle
My brother in law, did have mutiple cancer forms, all over and in his body.
Among bone cancer, as one....
The doctors in the hospital, as i have heard from my sister, did not know, how to deal with this
there was some mild form of panic, in the treatment they gave him.
Of whitch non worked.
So, they all are walking ticking time bombs, who knows when what kind of cancer is getting active....and how....?
I am very much afraid for their health, her daugther and husband have two children....
in the age of primary school.
Overall, there are researching going on, about the way the governments all over the world, fucked their own population...
with this corona madness...
There is more and more evidence that the whole show was one big fake show
The w.h.o did have an total other goal, then your safety and health...
That is for sure, shown in all those research done.
That does not make the people who took the needle safe, again.....
I weep for them and hope they stay out of the line of fire, so to speak...
I am very much afraid of the health of my sister too....
She too, has some strange health problems,
Not ever seen in our family history...
And, i cant talk about this, with them, that would be very rude.
They cant help it, that the really trusted their government.
and did what was told... to do.....
I begged, i really begged, friends and family member too
DO Not take the shot.
It is not safe, they are going way too fast!
Dont do it!!
something is very wrong, here! Dont do it!!
Wait, please wait it out, take sick leaves if you have too
But, please, please dont do it.
And, then they all took the needle....
I can cry... about this abuse of trust.
of this totall other plan, behind it....
Sighs..... 
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15
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Vetting...?
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Postad:3 mars 2024 11:05 am
Senast Uppdaterad:4 mars 2024 5:29 am 4935 besök
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Or?
Really taking the time to get to know the other?
I believe vetting is done, for when ever you want to have a safe play partner.
Not a relation style partner...
So, you ask around in your local scene if that person is known.
and what his reputation is?
is he safe to play with?
Is he safe to play with at a private place, or do you need to go to a dungeon to be safe with this person?
What is his knowledge level, on safety or on the tools?
All that kind of info collecting, is all about the play scene.
That is not about the relation first, if ever....
It is in my eyes, also rather shallow....
I mean, this guy can be well known, by some other players,
who dont take safety very serious.
or who dont know anything about the safety/ rights of the submissive (m/f)
Or the trafic light system.
Or good negotiation??
So, for me, vetting is not something i trust very much.
i have been vetting some guys too, and their former submissives
all spoke highly of his quality as a dominant.....
While my experience with this person, was not at all good.
So, vetting is not something i will ever be interested in.
I want to knów the person, behind the mask....
How he treats other people.
How he talks about his former submissives
How he talks about other female members of this society...
Or at his work situation.
Vetting is for me, only for when you want to play with someone.
Do a scene, or some roleplay, fantasy play ...
His character?
Might not be of much interest for you...
While for me, his character is where it all starts.
And as far as i have witnessed, the characters of those play partners
are never questioned at all...
To me, that is a red flag.
I take this all very serious
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