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Min Blogg

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Feeding the animals,
Postad:16 october 2021 12:55 am
Senast Uppdaterad:17 october 2021 1:32 am
4175 besök

story below,
14 kommentarer
Hunting,
Postad:15 october 2021 3:20 am
Senast Uppdaterad:16 october 2021 12:53 am
4222 besök

Autumn is coming!

I am not made for the autum and winter.
My personal heating system is not working optimal.

I live for sunshine and starry nights, clear skys, too.

So i need a thick coats, that still look nice.
I am on the hunt for a new coat!
I look online, as in shops too.

I saw this coat, online, with a centreal heating inside the coat!
I thought that is great!! USB stick and all that!

But, the coat looked like shit! too bulky.

I dont like shopping, when you are in your third shop, you cant even remember what you saw in the firist shop, very tiresome.

I am most of the time, very goal driven, it is a nasty habbit, sometimes.
I dont enjoy to stroll through all kind of shopping centres.

I have a plan, and i am going for that! It is a bit like work! LOL

Why would you wanne do something like that, to yourself?
What is the fun of it?
Tired feets and cranky, is the result, most of the times....

I rather bake cookies!

I went to four shops, the last shop, i actually really didnt feel like going in there,
i found the coat i liked most, with a fair price too.
So, i am ready for the nasty weather!

Although it is still very nice weather, with a lot of sunshine!

fingers crossed, it will be a soft winter...
9 kommentarer
Under cover,
Postad:15 october 2021 2:47 am
Senast Uppdaterad:16 october 2021 12:39 am
4217 besök

Sometimes, i have the need to go 'under cover' for some days.
You could compare that behaviour with the so caleld "man cave"behaviour.
14 kommentarer
What happens, when....
Postad:14 october 2021 12:08 am
Senast Uppdaterad:17 october 2021 1:35 am
4320 besök

This is something i noticed by myself,

I like to understand the motives, even from myself, the drive to do things, act....
13 kommentarer
The test,
Postad:7 october 2021 12:03 pm
Senast Uppdaterad:12 october 2021 1:45 am
4879 besök

I did the test!
The Love Language Test!

My Love Language is;
30% Acts of Service,
27% Quality Time,
27 % Physical Touch.

On Fet, online, is this bdsm test, so you can show hów dominant, switch, sub, doll, little, slave, etc you really "are"....

That test is pure 100 % nonsense, because you can manipulate the test like hell.
So, it is totally useless to partake in that test.

Or maybe, just for fun?
Do the test the next day and you may end up with an totall different outcome/ "role"?
Most of the time it are the new ones, to the scene folks, who make doing that test very important.
To others it is a sign that that person is very fresh meat, and does not know much, about the scene & themselfs.

To me, the love language test tells much more, about me, or anyone, as a person.
Were my personal needs and wants lie....

It is also much more fun, to do that test, at least, that is my experience...

I recognise myself totally in the outcome of the love language test.
Especially, when i think about the relations i had.
Wich ones where more harmonious, ( although still very vanilla) then others, and why....

Try it, when you feel bored and have time to waste.You might enjoy yourself.
9 kommentarer
the vaccin and your blood?
Postad:4 october 2021 11:21 am
Senast Uppdaterad:14 october 2021 11:38 am
5615 besök

There is something strange going on,
with the reactions on that vaccin....
46 kommentarer
mosquitoes
Postad:4 october 2021 11:00 am
Senast Uppdaterad:5 october 2021 8:43 am
5149 besök

That is the only spieces i kill.
11 kommentarer
Munches,
Postad:26 september 2021 11:54 pm
Senast Uppdaterad:1 october 2021 11:21 am
5700 besök

So, the munches in Holland are getting all starting up, again.
Since the governement has decided we all need that horror of a covid pass......

Anyway, reading about some munches, i go and check who is going, their age, their profiles, and all that....

It is really a very sad lot, for me, because ALL talk in their profiles, about "DOING SM"

In not óne profile, did i read anything about the connection, first.
NOT ONE!

It makes me feel soo very sad, so going to munches, for me is totally useless.

I mean, alright, making friends, is nice, but i am not on those sites to make friends,
that is maybe my problem, too...
My approach is too focussed on finding that one man, not so much on socialising, at all.

i am on those sites to find a Master.
Having friends is "nice", but as the people who go to those munches, most are only interested in "the playing" of the SM game.

So i have not much in common with them.
Their conversation is totally focussed on the tools and the play time.

While my orientation is more focussed on the connection, the person, first.
Their focus is on the play- act, the sexual act....
I mean, sure, nice! great!
If that is what you want and need, too....

It is not what i want and what makes me happy, is fulfilling to me.

In my eyes, they are role playing, being a dominant, or a submissive...
Just for the sexual release of hormons, brain chemicals.... and body fluids.

Just interested in the sm part, not in the connection, not the depth of the contact, the deep felt trust, the really knowing each other, really being safe, with each other.
reciprocal.

( Thatis why most of those contacts, oh, párdon me, those 'd/s 'relations'...have no substance, they brake up, very fast, at the first misunderstanding) and they just jump onto someone else, again and again...)
I see that happen, all the time, on fet.

What i see, is they are only interested in the physcial discharge of sexual energy, fantasies...
To me, that is the world, upside down.

Maybe, just maybe that can grow into something with more depth....
But their focus is first and formost on the body, sexuality, physical, fantasies.
Not The Connection, AT ALL.

To me, their first connection is physical, not mental.
Their interest in you, as a person, is very superficial, it is a sort of small talk, to get access to the body cavities....

That makes it very precarious as a base for something more, then just the play act.
There is no fundament, at all.

That is also my experience with the 'dominants' i did meet, so far.

So, going to munches is useless, waste of energy, space and money..

I am left, feeling soo sad and soo lost.....
So, which roads are left open to me, to find that one man?

Or, there must be something wrong with my approach....?

What am i doing on sites like this?

Expect for the great blog writings, for the nice contacts with other women....... (and some men, too)
Wich is very important for me.

I did organise munches, myself, also on those munches, the folks there..... more swingers orientated, than anything remotely SM - D/s or M/s orientated.

I cant converse with them.
They are as alien to me, as talking to vanilla friends who talk about their relation problems, wich most of the time originate from lack of direction, the constant power struggle, between the partners...
As i see it.....

I could be, very much, wrong.....
19 kommentarer
It has to be more, then "just" the SM connection,
Postad:20 september 2021 1:23 pm
Senast Uppdaterad:21 september 2021 1:11 pm
5988 besök

Something i experience with this friendship,
5 kommentarer
emotional poverty?
Postad:19 september 2021 2:16 am
Senast Uppdaterad:20 september 2021 1:44 am
6005 besök

This was something, that hits me real hard, early this morning,
still lying in my bed, listening to my favorite radio program...
8 kommentarer

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