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My Blog

Everything is connected with everything, everything is a form of energy

All the way, from america,
投稿日:2024年 3月 28日 2:09 pm
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 28日 2:45 pm
49 回の閲覧

Great song, by Joan Armetrading.
check her out!

All the way, from america,
I get reactions, in my mail box.

Wanting me, to travel to their place,
Where ever that may be?!
I dont get it.

There must be a hell of a lot more women, from the america's.
Wich they can contact.

Much easier, same language, same overall background, hopefully?
Why this Dutch chick?
Is it all for the show?
For the "online" games, sex acts?
Why?
Cant they go to a local hooker, for that?
Are they soo cheap?
Wont pay for it?
And want me, to come fly to their destination?
To get F* cked by a totall stranger?
mind you; no bdsm oriented relation? - No!! Just sex??!

I dont have a death wish?!
If i had one, i can easily get that happening, overhere, in Holland.
2 コメント
How most vanilla men approach me/ women.
投稿日:2024年 3月 28日 1:33 pm
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 28日 1:56 pm
57 回の閲覧

Always, always!
With their dicks in hand, first.

That is the way, they fly into my mailbox.

Of course, this ia a very big exaggerration...
Allthough....?
Ha!

Especially, now that spring has arrived, at least, in their bloodstream!
Not in nature, yet.
I always, wonder, what in heavens name, is going on, in their brains!?
But maybe there is not enough blood left, in that part of their anatomy...?

There is a distinct difference, in wich A Dominant approaches a woman,
Or how vanilla's / bedroom dominants (?), approach women..

Vanilla's, on here, especially, want to jump right to private mail,
For instance...
Dont have any questions, or only the sexual orientated.
Dont show any geniun interest in #you#, or who #you# are.
Just only are interested in the sexual part of me...

And are very upset, that i dont want to play their games...that i dont answer to their expectation...

This is something i always encountered with bedroom dominant,
I have to jump right into their little sexual fantasy role..
When i did not go that way.
They always became nasty and rude.

What i became to call, their true nature.
Cursing, bad mouthing, name calling

THAT, is something a dominant will never do.
He will say, there is no chemistry...
Or something like that.
No connection,no common ground, to build the trust on...
Or something like that.

NEVER, will a Dominant call a submissive names ( unless they agreed to that, on a much later phase in that contact...)
1 コメント
Internet!
投稿日:2024年 3月 27日 3:49 am
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 28日 1:05 pm
454 回の閲覧

We are all addicted to the w w internet.
What a drama to have no internet, only on my phone....

Give me a sledgehammer anytime over having to install a new modem!!

All those wires, makes me real nervous, afraid of doing something wrong/ stupid.

Well, halejula!! I am back on my laptop...
Now i only have to make a new place to sit, with the laptop,
because i changed the whole living room....
And did not think, of an other place for the laptop!

Gosh!!
bleagh...
give me a sledgehammer anytime over this kind of nonsense..... Sighs....
13 コメント
The benefits of AI?
投稿日:2024年 3月 24日 5:08 am
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 27日 3:44 am
1052 回の閲覧

Just lately, i heard this, or read it, somewhere?

That "they"- who ever that may be, in your country,

Wanting to use AI, to find the non vaccin people, so "they" can force! Them, to take the needle...
Democracy?
Free will?
Free choice?

Surveillance society.

In China the camera's all over the place, are soo good, at recognising *you*, that if you dont stop for a red trafic light,
You will loose your credits, your job, every thing.

They make you a outcast.
Surveillance / controle society.

No democratie, anymore.

CBCD, Check it out, before its too late...
20 コメント
I am furious./ denied? AGAIN?
投稿日:2024年 3月 21日 12:52 pm
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 23日 10:15 pm
1464 回の閲覧

I have been away, from the workplace, again... fot a week...
Visited there, today, to pick up my extra bike, pay for it.

ALT, alt, alt, are you having a good time?
There is no hate, minor, or talk about weapons, Yeah, now those words are in my blog..... duh!? tiresome....

And go home, so when my sister is staying over, we can go on the bikes, to the forests...
When i entered the workplace, inmediately saw that i had a flat back tire.
Wich is strange, because, friday i did pump some extra air in that back tire...
New tire, too

So, i ask this one staff member,
He first did not react at al, on my qeustioning...
Finally he came to see, what was going on....

Then he told me, yeah, the tire was already flat, on monday...
There where also signs, that someone had "worked" on that tire...

I showed him that.
He, went for the attack, telling me, it was my wrong doing.
PARDON!

Dont play the revers psychology card on me!
I know that game, all to well.

So, i was furious!!
Ofcourse, nobody knows nothing!
Did not see one thing...

I am soo done, with that attitude of the staff.
Somehow, he seem to sense, that he overstepped a line, here,
And offered me a bike to lent

That was not the deal!
If they are not even capable to keep my bike safe.....?
Furious!!
Had to walk back again, it was cold, again, and with my minor hip injury...?
That really hurted like a real MF.
And tomorrow, my hip will be very stiff & painful

So, monday i wil come in, fix the tire, again! And leave.

I am done, working there.
10 コメント
Internet,
投稿日:2024年 3月 19日 9:56 am
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 22日 5:28 am
1934 回の閲覧

My internet is gone...
Out of order...
So, now, i can only be on here,
By phone...
Have to call the company, i guess...

Such a hassle....

Being in the midst of cleaning my house,
Because family members are coming.

Because, now, i am officially an OLD WOMAN/ WITCH!! 🤣😂
Finally, i made it!!

A friend already came by.
But she is totally not interested in the state of my household!
She looked around, and told me,
I dont see the dirt, your house is clean, what is your problem? 🙃🤪

Women? Crazy folk!! 🤣😂🤣
17 コメント
Wow, just wow!
投稿日:2024年 3月 19日 9:41 am
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 21日 12:23 pm
1924 回の閲覧

You wont believe it...
Well, actually you all, WILL believe this.🤣😂

This man writes to me,
All full of himself.

Just asks ONE question...

So, for the sake of it,
( totally NOT taking this serious)
I answer, and, You WILL believe this!!

He, wants to go onto app, right away....
Just after 2 mail exchanges...

Does not ask ONE THING.
All, again, totally full of himself...

I know, i should not give any attention, to such....

BUT, i am always curious, in how they think, ( doubltfull?)
And think, they can get away with this kind of behaviour

There must be one or two women, who really going to travel the world, to get FFF by this totall stranger.
those women must have a rather low selfesteem...or,
Have this hunger for danger games...? ..

So, after that first reaction, i think, i am done, with this person...
It is ALL about s.e.x.... to them.
9 コメント
Hate, weapons, under age?
投稿日:2024年 3月 17日 1:17 pm
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 27日 7:05 am
2643 回の閲覧

Alt< alt? alt?
What are you doing?

Now my own comment, in my blog, about my bike workplace, is denied because of the above.
Nowhere in my reaction is anything related to *hate*weapons* or under age*, to be found,
I only tell about how the folks working in this workplace steal about anything if they can get their hands on it.
like my mug and my carpet...

And how they did break open a steel closet, to steal the safe out of it.
There are real big padlocks on those doors.....

How is this comment denied??
I dont know, what they use at the alt office, but it must have had a very bad effect on their .......?!

It would be real funny, if they do deny this comment too!
33 コメント
Emotional garbage?
投稿日:2024年 3月 16日 8:29 am
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 19日 9:29 am
2932 回の閲覧

Talked with a friend, it was her birthday.
We got to talking about the Dutch scene and the amount/quality of men in there...

I told her about my latest experiences....

We agreed, those/most? men, in the Dutch scene are definitely no dominants.
They are bedroom players. parttime dominants, hobbistssss...

They lack any real! interest in you, as a person, they inmediately jump into the kinky porn talk.
They inmediately want to see you or have you send them a picture of how you look like,
Never thinking about YOUR feelings of safety.
AT ALL.

They never work on establishing any safety, dont work on building trust,
never say what they mean, and mean what they say.
(unless it is kinky porn talk)

Never stable in how they react to what ever it is, you tell them.

They are good in small talk, if that does not take too long,...
pretending to be interested in you, but really are not.
They dont remember anything you told them, if it is not kinky sexy talk.
if it does not turn them on.

If you told them, you are sad, because you cat, dearest uncle, niece, what ever, died,
They dont remember that at all.

They dont invest time and energy in YOU.

She made me cry, because she said to me, she wanted me to find my kind of man.
And how she wished she could conjure this person, out of clay if she had too,
to make me feel, the way i am, deep down inside.
Because she knóws, the deep down inside mé, she knows how much i long for such a deep commitment, connection.

F*** king is easy, you can f*** with every t, d, or harry...
BUT, that deep, deep trust needed to give myself to someone
To let that someone see, thát deep inside of mé?

To build that deep trust, BEFORE anything else??
You both need to be special, and especially WANTING that,
knowing you, both have to work for it, every day.
conscious decision, to want to surrender, to want to guide and controle and take on that amount of responsibility.

Those men??
wont be able to carry that amount of responsiblity, not even, when their lifes depended on it.

And, i should be giving myself, to those??
They have nothing to offer me.
But pain and missery, because they dont understand that some women, ARE submissive, as in their nature, in their core.

Sure, such women dont show that in day to day living!
They must be mad, to do so!

When such a woman acts (?) shows her true nature in a vanilla setting....
most men, think she is an easy lay...
Dont understand one thing about, what is shown to them.
Because they are vanilla and not Dominant, by nature.... as in their core

Sure, you can be? dominant in the bedroom during some scene / sex role play and afterwards you both go back to your natural selfs, being vanillas with a sparkling sex life...
That is just something totally different from what i am talking about.
It is not less, or more
It is different.

To mé, it feels less... because, the sex is not what this is all about,
the role play is not what this is all about, the amount of orgasms, is not what this is about, or the denial of orgasms....
Thát, are only - to me- actions, without that deep inner connections,
that does not mean anything to me.

This is about surrender, on a mental level, first ad formost, to his rules, to his guidance.
Knowing, he knows me, in and out, knowing i will always be safe, with him.
NO matter what.
after we both got to know each other, the dark, the shiny and the nasty parts of ourselves...
After we found out, we like each other, like the way the other thinks, her/his sense of humor, his work/ethics, moral code...
Whó he/ she is.

So, she made me cry, because it is hiddin very deep inside of me, that submissive woman...
She touched her....
And, when ever that happens, i feel the pain of not having this in my life....
It makes me feel sick... emotional... it is such a deep feeling...of wanting, of needing....
him.
It is like a void, sure i have a good life, have friends, talk, have fun, eat, go to sleep, shower, cook, do my shopping, the mondain stuff... and enjoying that too.... for sure...
But that is just the surface.....

Underneath thát, is a very big hunger, void.... in my core....

Searching, always searching, even when i am not aware that i am doing it,
always scanning, feeling, searching for this special power.... this special energy...

Play dominants, dont show that special energy, dont have that special energy,
to mé, they are just horny vanilla guys, with a lot of sexual fantasies,
and most of the times, a very nervous kind of energy around them... not stable at all...
Much to much only focussed on their own.

Some could be nice, to talk to, maybe...
Most are just soo occupied with their dicks and where they want to put that in,
you cant talk with them, at all.

There is not enough blood left in their brains, for that.....

So, she touched that mé, deep inside of mé....
10 コメント
Work and such....
投稿日:2024年 3月 16日 7:01 am
最終更新日時:2024年 3月 17日 1:06 pm
2909 回の閲覧

So, the work on bikes, is still going on,
They dont help me anymore and when i ask for help, they are reluctant to offer .....

Not nice.
Also, because i was at my sisters place, for 3 weeks, all of the sudden, they (?) removed the carpet i put my bike on, just throw it out!
so not to damage the steering, and gear...
My red mug is gone, too.
It was not anything expensive, it was just MINE.
Gone!
Nowbody knows where it is gone??

One other thing, all of the certain, because, for most folks working there, it is a day time activity, to get them back to some sort of daily routine, because of their multi problems, mental cases, drugs related, medicine related... addiction...
And so on,

i now have to pay, to do the volenteers work..
Huh?
There is a lot of money going on, the that kind of "care" for mental cases, homeless folks.
A LOT of money..

They made some calculation in wich it seems as if i gain from this regulation
But, they count a full weeks work, and i dont work a full week..
So, by doing this votenteers work, i am going to pay them, too?!

How about some real crazy rules....
Because i am an exception to the rule, they cant bend the rule for me,
and i have to pay....., anyway!
although i dont need that extra care.. guidance..
And dont get any guidance, or help, at the workplace....

They try to pressure me in getting along with this rule, That is not a smart thing to do, because i dont like to be pressured into something that just does not feel right.

The more they pressure me, the more they give me a reason to doubt their real, sincere motivations....
They awaked the mule in me, that way!

Hows that? for some real crazy situation going on?
I did not decide yet, what to do...?

Today, i was at the market, there is this woman from Ghana, having a very small markket stand, selling dresses, bags, juwelery...
I always go visit her, talk with her, sometimes i buy some dress, or other items.

People here are very, very racist.

We talked and she said she wanted to use a sewing machine, for making some adjustments to some of her bags for sale.
But she did not have a sewing machine....

So, i told her, i have a sewing machine, we can work something out?
If you want, too?
She was very happy with my offer and next week we are going to make a appointment, so she can come to my house and we will see from there?!
She is a very kind woman.

I am also asking real bike shops if they have a working place for me..
Most are just small bike shops, don t have much place for an apprenticeship..
I will see, i keep asking other bike shops.

Although i do know the main maintanance on bikes, the routine is what makes the difference...
10 コメント

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