Why do you do the things you do?
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Posted:Jan 1, 2021 8:38 pm
Last Updated:Feb 6, 2021 1:11 pm 5300 Views
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The Mind of a Dominant
, as a submissive, this is a fascinating, sometimes frightening, and curious place. What goes in there? It seems that being a Dominant is a lot of hard work. Not that being a sub isn't challenging in it's own way-it takes more courage than most can imagine, and it's definitely hard sometimes. But for me, it's as easy as falling out of a tree, because that's how my mind works. ESPECIALLY in the presense of a Dominant man. Now I know that D/s or M/s takes many beautiful forms and colors, but for me, I'm going go with the male Dom, female submissive pose in this post because that's what I know.
Now I'm not talking about some 23 year old , with a dick and a flogger, with no idea how use either of them, but the ones that KNOW. They seem know just how pique your interest. They usually have lovely manners. You know, that THEY know their way into your mind and subsequently your panties. And if they don't know, they are willing to invest the time to figure it out.
It seems to me, that while a sub can actually "space out" during a scene, the Dom has to become almost hyper aware in this moment, taking in every little nuance to ensure his sub's safety. He has to come with the idea for the scene, but have enough flexibility kind of go with the flow. He (hopefully) has put in the time and effort really "know" his submissive. He has not only control himself, but her as well. Quite frankly, it seems exhausting.
When she is kneeling there before you, naked both literally and figuratively, and you know her darkest desires, her deepest secrets, her motivations, her triggers, her passions and fears, her fantasies and self doubt, her strength and her fragility. When you see her, in a way that perhaps no one has ever seen her before. You take all of her, her beauty, her flaws, every curve, lump and bump, her soul on display shining through her eyes. When you honor her through Dominance, is that the why?
When she surrenders herself totally to you, knowing you could destroy her, or uplift her, and you choose the later, is that the why?
What is the why?
Thank you in advance for your input.
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7
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Hooooly Crap!
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Posted:Dec 29, 2020 3:21 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2021 9:32 am 7751 Views
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Ok, for some of you more delicate members, this may be tmi, and you may have avert your eyes.
Ok, so I was doing a bit of lady-scaping in my nether regions (if you know what I mean, and I think you do) and what should I discover?.......grey pubes.
GREY!!
PUBES!!!
I am officially dead. Needless say, everything had go.
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17
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Sadism-Action, or Reaction?
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Posted:Dec 27, 2020 12:54 pm
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2021 7:02 pm 5825 Views
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So, I am not a masochist, and whenever I happen to peruse profiles (not that I’m looking *L*) and the Dom mentions that he’s a sadist, I tend to move along. Now, not that I don’t fancy a bit o’ rough now and then. The sweet stingy kiss of a whip, the whack of a cane, or the bite of a quirt are all good with me as long they interspersed with a tender caress, or a good girl. And sometimes the Dom may prefer a bit more stick than carrot, I understand that-and it is his prerogative, same as if sometimes he prefers more carrot, less stick.
I just can’t seem to find that switch in my head that turns pain to pleasure. I prefer it more as a counterpoint, than a be all, end all.
So, my question is this-if a sadistic Dominant interacts with me, and let’s say at a level 4 I am screaming and crying, yelping, begging, whatever his desired response is, is that more or less satisfying than someone he can interact with to a level 9 before getting the same reaction?
Is it just the action of causing pain that is so satisfying? In which case the 9 would be preferred, or the reaction to the pain? In which case I presume either would suffice?
Comments from both sides of the slash are welcome.
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14
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The Pursuit of Perfection
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Posted:Dec 22, 2020 4:09 pm
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2022 4:24 pm 7659 Views
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Anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE Christmas. I absolutely believe in Peace on Earth, and Goodwill towards Men. I love the sparkles, and the smells and the sense of childlike wonder. I still have problems falling asleep on Christmas Eve because I’m so excited that Santa is coming!! My problem, if you will, is my impossibly high standards. I can’t just have a tree, I have to have the PERFECT tree. Which is usually obtained after hours of slogging through the tree farm, to find the best tree they have to offer. I can’t just buy presents, I have to find the PERFECT present for everyone on my list. As has been noted, I can’t just make 2 or 3 types of Christmas cookies, I have to make 10 different kinds. I painted my living room, so between last year and this I had to buy all new décor to match. It has to be PERFECT. Of course, my wrapping paper and bows need to coordinate with my tree so it makes a lovely tableau on Christmas morning. Then there is the Beef Wellington I’m making for Christmas dinner because, yanno, let’s just make something as complicated as possible for shits and giggles. It’s quite frankly, exhausting. I am a control freak, so most offers of help are declined, because no one can do it PERFECTLY, like I do. No wonder I usually ring in the New Year feeling sick. Maybe I’m a closet maso? Anyway, I’m just curious if anyone else feels this need to strive for perfection in this or any other area? I never really considered myself a fan of cage training as part of my kink repertoire, however after reading aliljaded’s blog entry, I think I would love to be sent for an “adult time out”, so I literally and figuratively can’t do anything but “be”. Because I can’t sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time before I’m thinking of something else that needs to be done, cleaned, cooked, bedazzled or just tended to. At some pont during the next few days I’ll catch my breath.
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8
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Cookie-palooza
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Posted:Dec 15, 2020 7:13 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2021 4:20 pm 9974 Views
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So this is what I've been doing for the past week or so. 700+ cookies made, 15 boxes assembled with cards, (still 5 more go), 6 bags of cookies, all with coordinating tissue paper and Hershey Kisses added.
My sincere apologies anyone who has posted on my blog recently and not gotten a response. This is why.
Now onto finishing the tree.
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13
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The old insecurities
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Posted:Dec 6, 2020 2:08 pm
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2021 3:53 pm 11800 Views
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aka, the case of the disappearing Dom.
So I had been chatting via email with this gentleman from Alt, nothing serious, I'm not looking at this time. I'm just here to blog, make some friends, get in deeper touch with my submissive side, have a laugh or two, and try and figure out what my next steps in life will be.
So anyway, it was fun, mildly flirtatious, and interesting. Tons of quick emails per day. Then......radio silence.........crickets........nada. Now this was around the Thanksgiving holiday, so I figured he just had family stuff. So a week passes, and I out an "everything ok?" No reply.
Now, had I been just starting my journey, this would have gutted . I would have been all nervous and sad-what did I do wrong? what did I say that was wrong? how am I wrong? how am I not enough?
Now I'm older, wiser, stronger, better, and 99% of knows I did nothing wrong, I said nothing wrong, I am more than enough as I am.
But that damn 1%, still has a small voice in my head. Whispering. Insidious. Actually I'm not sure I'll ever be able to quiet it completely. But it's not nearly as loud as it was years ago. Thank goodness.
One quasi rejection(?), and I start to have doubts about myself. Perhaps I'd be better off having doubts about him.
Funny how the more Alt changes, the more it stays the same.
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14
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12 Days of Kinksmas
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Posted:Dec 3, 2020 1:49 pm
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2020 6:17 pm 11808 Views
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A collar just for
2 hands a spanking
3 ropes a tying
4 silk blindfolds
5 red ball gaaaaaaaags
6 subbies kneeling
7 cuffs a binding
8 whips a crackin’
9 paddles paddling
10 chains a clinking
11 canes a whacking
12 floggers flogging
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8
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A Favor Please
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Posted:Nov 29, 2020 10:57 am
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2020 2:16 pm 11264 Views
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If anyone on here is on Collarspace, could you please give me shout out on my blog titled "Is this thing on?". Please and thank you.
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8
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Submission & Feminism
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Posted:Nov 28, 2020 2:17 pm
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2020 2:51 pm 11546 Views
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I'm not sure if feminism is the right title for this post, as I consider myself a feminist-if you consider equal pay for equal work, and autonomy over my own body and reproductive right feminism.
I want to talk about the dichotomy of "today's woman" vs a "submissive woman". Just because I'm submissive I still get to wear what I want, speak my mind, vote for who I want to, etc.
The "conflict" if you will, comes a deeper, more visceral level.
I'm a grown ass woman, I can take of myself. I don't need a man to complete me, I am strong, confident and independent.
I'm a submissive, I want and need a Dom to take care of me in that special, wonderful, caring, loving way, only a true Dominant man can.
I'm a "good girl" We don't put out on the first date. There are rules and regulations, certain numbers of dinners that need to bought. Protocols to be observed. God forbid we be called a slut!
I'm a submissive, I want to embrace my sexuality. Revel in how good my body can feel. Expand and explore. Give myself over to it, roll around in it. Experience how it can give pleasure to my Dominant. "That's my slut", sending shiver up and down my spine, causing my cunt to clench. How the sting of a cane or whip becomes sublime when wielded by him.
That curated, sophisticated exterior, belies what lies beneath.
The complexity of a "modern" woman who is also submissive. And these are just a few examples.
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6
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