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softrayne 54F
1748 posts
9/9/2021 12:35 pm

Last Read:
10/14/2021 6:35 pm

Why is it so hard?


*confusedandmaybeunlikablerayne*

softrayne 54F
2942 posts
9/9/2021 12:36 pm

To say:

“Hey, I like you.
Let’s explore a monogamous relationship”

“Hey, I like you.
Your chatting with other Doms upsets me”

“Hey, I like you.
Let’s start off casual, but with an eye towards a future relationship”

“Hey, I like you.
I don’t want you to play with other people”

Why is it so hard to say, “Hey, I like you.”


likesmatures 53M
2675 posts
9/9/2021 1:06 pm

It seems quiet easy actually...

Maybe your afraid of chasing this person away..

Or are you sure s/he is aware of your feelings towards them?
Men esp can be hard head and unable to pick up subtle clues


softrayne replies on 9/21/2021 8:04 pm:
Hi lm, thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting *smiles* Oh this person knows how I feel, I am frustrated because I don't know how HE feels. Be well,
rayne

eagerlywanting 68M
42 posts
9/9/2021 1:27 pm

I agree, why is it so hard?... you sound good to me!


softrayne replies on 9/12/2021 9:36 am:
Thank you eagerly, I appreciate the support. Be well,

rayne

Abraxus1 40M  
86 posts
9/9/2021 1:32 pm

    Quoting softrayne:
    To say:

    “Hey, I like you.
    Let’s explore a monogamous relationship”

    “Hey, I like you.
    Your chatting with other Doms upsets me”

    “Hey, I like you.
    Let’s start off casual, but with an eye towards a future relationship”

    “Hey, I like you.
    I don’t want you to play with other people”

    Why is it so hard to say, “Hey, I like you.”
As long as people are upfront from the start about their caveats, then it is just their preference. That aside, It's fucking hard! On this site their is very little active users anywhere near me. The few that fit my preferences, i probably dont fit theirs. So i've stopped worrying about it and just chat to who ever till i can be more sociable. Best of luck to you


cdKristen4fun 62T
22 posts
9/9/2021 1:49 pm

It is indeed hard to find the right person which gets one frustrated and eventually gives up on finding someone. I think it is the anonymity of online which makes people jumping from one to another. Patience can be rewarded sometimes but not always. Good luck!


softrayne replies on 9/21/2021 7:57 pm:
Hi Kristen, *smiles* thank you so much for stopping by my blog and commenting. I agree with everything you said! I'm trying to be patient, but is a challenge. Good luck in your search as well.

southerngalkay 45F
24 posts
9/9/2021 2:06 pm

Im assuming they dont want to feel vulnerable in expressing their feelings towards you


softrayne replies on 9/12/2021 9:38 am:
Hello southern, *smiles* thank you for stopping in and commenting on my blog. Your explanation makes the most sense to me. Although everyone always talks about vulnerability in the "lifestyle" makes me wonder if that's just for submissive's?

IsoOnlineSub7 62M/54F
852 posts
9/9/2021 3:20 pm

To answer your question, it is so hard because you made me that hard.


softrayne replies on 9/12/2021 9:39 am:
*L* so it's my fault?

Abraxus1 40M  
86 posts
9/9/2021 3:28 pm

    Quoting IsoOnlineSub7:
    To answer your question, it is so hard because you made me that hard.
You didn't just come out wae that did you? Something wee boys would come up with. Have a word with yourself.


softrayne replies on 9/9/2021 5:58 pm:
"Have a word with yourself" I snort laughed at that, thank you!

drmgirl622 66F  
18113 posts
9/9/2021 3:49 pm

I think people can just be afraid of any type of commitment. Saying "I like you" appears to open up this whole other can of worms.


softrayne replies on 9/14/2021 7:48 pm:
Hi dreamy, I had thought we were both on the same page about opening the can of worms(yuck, what an icky saying *L*) but I think I'm a faster reader *L*

NoNonsense_Dom 67M
742 posts
9/9/2021 5:13 pm

Well dear lady, I have no problem saying 'I like you'.

If you have it in your mind what it is you want out of a friend or lover, and be clear with what you want for yourself, then it should be easy to say I like you. That does not necessarily mean there will be a marriage at the end of it, but at the very least, there will be respect and a friendship, because you value what that other person has to offer.

I have been searching for a long time for that special 'one', and even though I have come close at times, it is always the distance between us that has stopped a relationship other than a friendship developing.


softrayne replies on 9/14/2021 7:29 pm:
I like You toooooooo!!! A lot!!! *pounce, bounce kiss*

Natalie__ 46F
4302 posts
9/9/2021 5:14 pm

The rejection, vulnerability?

The confusion sucks.

I can't imagine you being unlikeablerayne!


softrayne replies on 9/14/2021 7:27 pm:
heya girlie *smiles* I can understand those sentiments for sure, but being vulnerable is part and parcel for this lifestyle, isn't it? For both sides of the slash? Maybe I'm likable, but not commitment worthy? I dunno? Maybe he's just not there yet? Arghhh, it's frustrating!!!

NoNonsense_Dom 67M
742 posts
9/9/2021 5:18 pm

    Quoting Abraxus1:
    As long as people are upfront from the start about their caveats, then it is just their preference. That aside, It's fucking hard! On this site their is very little active users anywhere near me. The few that fit my preferences, i probably dont fit theirs. So i've stopped worrying about it and just chat to who ever till i can be more sociable. Best of luck to you
Abraxus, I am also on another site that has it's main center of operations around Europe and I know there are a lot of women in your country on that site. There are also a lot from Ireland, Wales, and of course Britain. Fetish dot com would be a good place to look for you if you haven't already


hardtop4you 56M
64 posts
9/9/2021 6:54 pm

People who hide their feelings often care the most because words can't truly express feelings.


softrayne replies on 9/14/2021 7:46 pm:
That is a most lovely sentiment hardtop, thank you for sharing it.

InderioMinx 52F  
17915 posts
9/9/2021 6:58 pm

...andmaybeunlikablerayne* ~ um, no. Definitely not it.

Ars longa, vita brevis - Art is long, life is short


softrayne replies on 9/14/2021 7:22 pm:
*asks permission to pounce and kiss Lady?*

roper2003 61M
424 posts
9/9/2021 8:22 pm

When the time/feeling is right. It’s not hard to say
If it can’t be said there’s something missing


softrayne replies on 9/14/2021 7:20 pm:
Heya, heya roper, thank you for commenting *smiles* I personally thought the time has BEEN right for a while, but obvs, I have been mistaken.

jenny14 72T  
81246 posts
9/9/2021 10:58 pm

rayne

Maybe they are shy but these things should be discussed early on...


A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

Jenny


softrayne replies on 9/12/2021 9:22 am:
*giggles* maybe, but I have yet to meet a shy Dominant. Reticent perhaps, but not shy.

aliljaded 51F
5790 posts
9/9/2021 11:19 pm

Hey, I like you ..

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


softrayne replies on 9/12/2021 9:09 am:
Hey, I like you too!!!!

FabianoTirrozi 44M
89 posts
9/10/2021 2:03 pm

We all like you Softrayne. Period! Let us stay and enjoy the present...


softrayne replies on 9/12/2021 9:08 am:
Hi Fabiano, well I like you too!!! And while living in the moment is something I certainly strive for, you know my impatient subbie tendencies can arise from time to time.

StormCloud69 52M  
27 posts
9/11/2021 8:01 am

They hey I like you part is easy!

The other caveats are conditions.


softrayne replies on 9/12/2021 9:06 am:
Hello SC, I don't know, I think after a certain amount of time, conditions can be placed? Personally, they help me feel more secure and "comfortable in my place", if that makes sense?

ExNameForUse 51F
665 posts
9/11/2021 3:05 pm

it's not hard, it's we who complicate the simple things xx


softrayne replies on 9/12/2021 9:04 am:
*laughs* Over complication and over thinking seem to be my particular forte, truth.

wantsubbitch 62M
143 posts
9/17/2021 5:48 am

yes for sure why is it so hard to say, as for me i get so dam lost am your average dumb ass guy and don"t pick up well on women making hint"s, so yes why not just say something to me but oh well do like your pot about it, have a great day


softrayne replies on 9/21/2021 7:59 pm:
Thank you for commenting. I don't know I feel like I've made my feelings/interest very clear, perhaps it's just not reciprocated.

ShyNLonely1970 51M
1 post
9/23/2021 1:19 pm

sometimes it's being afraid of the unknown, being hurt sometimes last longer than you want and being alone becomes a comfort...


softrayne replies on 9/27/2021 6:35 pm:
Hello Shy, thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog. I don't know, wouldn't we all prefer to find comfort in someone's arms, as opposed to the comfort of being alone?

alwaysassertive 61M
2055 posts
9/25/2021 12:20 pm

Ask them strait up how they feel. If they give you some bullshit or try to deflect they you're better off getting out of it. The road to no where is a rough ride. You can do as you please, but I know what I'm talking about. I don't care how good someone looks or how attracted I am to them. If they play me..I'll walk away and not look back...(names withheld)...That's not to say they only get one chance. Everyone deserves a second or third chance, but when chances run out I'm gone.


softrayne replies on 9/27/2021 6:25 pm:
Hi always, nice to see you here-seems like it's been a minute. I will ask him, but I feel like I know what the answer is going to be-more-fobbed off without an answer. An entreaty to be patient, and no mention of when we can schedule a meet. I guess that's kind of my answer then, huh?

alwaysassertive 61M
2055 posts
9/25/2021 12:32 pm

I'm always clear how I feel they need to man up.



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