|
THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX 2018/1/17
You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy
night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people
waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. <br><br>
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that
there could only be one ...
0 コメント, 18 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,2.08 スコア
|
|
THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX 2018/1/17
You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy
night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people
waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. <br><br>
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that
there could only be one ...
0 コメント, 7 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,2.08 スコア
|
|
But My Wife Won't Like It 2018/1/16
A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart. <br><br>
Elizabeth, a "beautiful" real golfer who lived
in a villa on the golf course heard the noise and yelled over to him. <br><br>
"Hey, are you okay, what's your name?"
"Willis, " he replied. <br><br>
"Willis forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest up and I'll you ...
0 コメント, 26 閲覧された回数,
6 投票
,3.08 スコア
|
|
Dolphins 2018/1/16
A few ago, there was a really eccentric oil tycoon
who had taken it into his head to collect really strange
and exotic pets. day, deciding to add to his collection,
he walked into the store of an exotic pet shop and said to
the salesman, "Show me the most unusual pet you have
in stock!" The salesman took him to an outside tank,
in which a pod of dolphins were frolicking happily. ...
0 コメント, 16 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,0.92 スコア
|
|
Racing Snail 2018/1/13
My racing snail is not winning races anymore so I decided
to take his shell off to reduce his weight and make him more
aerodynamic. It didnt work if anything its made him more sluggish
0 コメント, 8 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,2.86 スコア
|
|
The Bacon Tree 2018/1/13
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly
and close to death. They are close to just lying down and
waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......
<br><br>
'Hey Jose, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure
of eet.' <br><br>
'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.' <br><br>
So, with renewed strength, they ...
0 コメント, 18 閲覧された回数,
6 投票
,2.51 スコア
|
|
Old man's health check up 2018/1/12
An old man went to the doctor suffering from Piles. The doctor
gave him pesaries and told him to put in his rectum every
night and come back after week. <br><br>
When he got home he said to his wife "Have we got a rectum?".
She replied "What's a rectum?". <br><br>
The old man said "I've no idea but I have to put
of these in it every ...
0 コメント, 25 閲覧された回数,
6 投票
,3.65 スコア
|
|
Italian Honeymoon... 2018/1/9
The Italian Honeymoon... <br><br>
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his
new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his barbershop
in Jersey to say hello to his old friends... Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?"
Luigi said, "Everyting perfecto, except for da traina
ride..." "Whata you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni. "Well,
we ...
2 コメント, 32 閲覧された回数,
8 投票
,3.71 スコア
|
|
Little Sally 2018/1/9
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face,
and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his
weenie today at the playground!"... Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to
say, "It reminded me of a peanut... " Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked,
"Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom ...
3 コメント, 25 閲覧された回数,
6 投票
,5.07 スコア
|
|
Leaving Early 2018/1/9
women all worked in the same office, with the same
female boss. Each day they noticed that the boss would leave
work early. day, the women decided, that when the boss left, they
would leave right behind her. After all, she never ed,
or came back to work, so how would she know they went home
early. <br><br>
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little
gardening, ed ...
0 コメント, 22 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,1.69 スコア
|
|
A patient rings his doctor... 2018/1/9
A patient rings his doctor... <br><br>
Patient: "Doctor, I applied that Hemorrhoid cream
you gave me and got a terrible reaction!" <br><br>
Doctor: "Okay, where exactly did you apply it?"
<br><br>
Patient: "On the bus."
0 コメント, 16 閲覧された回数,
6 投票
,3.37 スコア
|
|
Disappointed... 2018/1/6
A teacher asked her 6th grade class: “Who can tell me,
which human organ becomes 10 times bigger when it’s stimulated?”
<br><br>
Maria stood up, bright red and angry, and said “How can
you ask such a question? I’m telling my parents and they’re
going to get you fired!” <br><br>
The teacher was shocked by the outburst, but decided to
ignore it. She asked the ...
4 コメント, 38 閲覧された回数,
7 投票
,4.31 スコア
|
|
No more a Virgin 2018/1/6
No more a Virgin <br><br>
The family is at the dining table. The little 10-year-old
girl does not eat and has her nose in her plate…. <br><br>
After a few moments, she says, “I’ve something to tell
you people” <br><br>
Silence around the table. “I’m no longer virgin”,
and she begins to cry. A long silence again. <br><br>
And then… ...
2 コメント, 36 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,3.25 スコア
|
|
Crabs... 2018/1/6
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of
frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take
care of them for him. <br><br>
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator.
<br><br>
He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible
for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner
that he was a lawyer and ...
4 コメント, 36 閲覧された回数,
6 投票
,3.93 スコア
|
|
NI Women 2017/12/27
Three men sitting together bragging about how they had
given their new wives duties to perform. Terry had married
a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his new
wife to do all the dishes and house cleaning in the house.
He said it took a couple of days but on the third day he came
home to a clean house and all the dishes were cleaned and
put away. James had married a woman from ...
0 コメント, 21 閲覧された回数,
5 投票
,2.82 スコア
|
|
Handyman Husband???... 2017/12/26
On a cold winter morning, wife texts husband: "WINDOWS FROZEN, WON'T OPEN" Husband texts back: "POUR SOME LUKEWARM WATER OVER IT AND TAP GENTLY ALONG THE EDGES WITH A HAMMER" Five minutes later wife texts husband: "COMPUTER REALLY SCREWED UP NOW"
0 コメント, 22 閲覧された回数,
2 投票
,1.73 スコア
|
|
Crumbled Money/// 2017/12/26
While enjoying their evening cocktails, the wife asks
her husband, in a very seductive voice, "Have you
ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?" "No, "
said her husband. <br><br>
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or
4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the
cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled
out a ...
1 コメント, 32 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,4.80 スコア
|
|
THE SPOON AND THE STRING 2017/12/25
A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference
for an organization. <br><br>
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant,
and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little
strange. <br><br>
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed
he Also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I ...
1 コメント, 17 閲覧された回数,
1 投票
,3.70 スコア
|
|
This Is HELL to Write About: 2017/12/22
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with
the devil... Satan: "Why so glum?" Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!" Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a
lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?" Guy: "Sure, I love to drink." Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays ...
0 コメント, 24 閲覧された回数,
3 投票
,4.41 スコア
|
|
Frozen Turkey 2017/12/18
Sarah new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs,
'Richard doesn't appreciate what I do for him.'
'Now, now, ' her mother comforted, 'I am
sure it was all just a misunderstanding.' 'No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a
frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about
the price.' 'Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate, ' ...
0 コメント, 20 閲覧された回数,
1 投票
,3.70 スコア
|
|
Lion cage cleaner 2017/12/17
My first job was at our local Zoo, sweeping the shit out of
the lion, s cage........ most of it was mine. They fired
me the next week for leaving the cage door open, I said "oh
come on, who, s gonna steal a Lion?"
0 コメント, 9 閲覧された回数,
2 投票
,3.12 スコア
|
|
I want to see something really cheap 2017/12/15
After being away on business for a week before Christmas,
Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
<br><br>
<br><br>
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics
clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50. <br><br>
"That's a bit much, " said Tom, so she returned
with a smaller bottle for $30. ...
1 コメント, 21 閲覧された回数,
2 投票
,3.81 スコア
|
|
Ethel 2017/12/14
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to
charge around the nursing home, taking corners on wheel
and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was sandwich short of a picnic
the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually
joined in. day Ethel was speeding up corridor when a door opened
and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his ...
1 コメント, 21 閲覧された回数,
2 投票
,2.42 スコア
|
|
The Wedding Night. 2017/12/13
eggs decide to get married. Along comes the big day and
everything goes to plan. But they are both very nervous
about the hymoon night so the female egg decides to dress
up in a skimpy little negligee to them get excited.
The husband comes along and sees his wife dressed like this
and all off a sudden runs into the bathroom and locks the
door. The wife is very shocked by his behavior but ...
0 コメント, 15 閲覧された回数,
2 投票
,1.73 スコア
|
|
Catholic Dog 2017/12/13
Muldoon lived al in the Irish countryside with only
a pet for company. day the died, and Muldoon we
nt to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog
is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor
creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we
cannot have s for an animal in the church. But there
are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no ...
0 コメント, 13 閲覧された回数,
1 投票
,5.00 スコア
|
|
Onions And Christmas Trees 2017/12/7
A family is at the dinner table. The asks his father,
'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? <br><br>
The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, , there
are kinds of Boobs: <br><br>
In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and
firm. <br><br>
In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still
nice but hanging a bit. ...
0 コメント, 28 閲覧された回数,
5 投票
,5.10 スコア
|
|
LIFE THOUGHTS BY 'DUCKY' 2017/12/6
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess'
on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me. <br><br>
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. <br><br>
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even
get into my own pants. <br><br>
How come we choose from just two people to run for president
and over fifty ...
0 コメント, 17 閲覧された回数,
3 投票
,5.39 スコア
|
|
Looks of Disappointment 2017/12/5
A Irishman was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery,
and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered
open and he said, "You're truly beautiful."
Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed
by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open
and he said, "You're really cute." The wife was ...
1 コメント, 24 閲覧された回数,
3 投票
,4.90 スコア
|
|
ONLY IN SCOTLAND 2017/12/4
A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy
to speak to the chemist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded
cotton bandana, opens it to reveal a smaller silk square
which he unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a number
of patches on it. He holds it up. 'How much to repair it?' the Scot asks the pharmacist.'Six
pence, ' says the chemist. ...
1 コメント, 21 閲覧された回数,
3 投票
,3.43 スコア
|
|
Trained 2017/11/29
An old man who'd lived all his life back up in the hills
came to visit a childhood friend. Now he'd never laid
eyes on a train or the iron rails on which they run. Standing in the middle of the tracks one day, he heard a distant
whistle... WOOOO--ooo---OOOOO! but didn't have
a clue as to what it meant or his impending danger. Predictably, the old boy is hit -- fortunately ...
1 コメント, 22 閲覧された回数,
4 投票
,4.41 スコア
|
